OPEN LETTERS
An Open Letter to My Abusive Ex
Can you please learn to mind your own business?
Dear Ex-
I met you almost 5 years ago, and you bother me to this day, DO BETTER!
You are one of those megalomaniac people, who, when realizing their mistake, don’t forget to inflict regret on the victim too. I don’t want this open letter to be full of hate, but if you are reading this, feeling hatred, it’s just me showing you the mirror.
To be honest, I haven’t hated anyone as intently as you, and I have my reasons, you will know (but I think you already know).
It’s not just about the way you treated me (like shit) or the way you made me feel around your friends (like a thirsty bitch); it is about the way you made me the person I never wanted to become.
You certainly know how to influence girls and turn them from straight-A students into girls who don’t know where they are heading.
When I was with you, I felt being under the influence of an authoritarian parent, except you didn’t love me, as most parents do. I did everything possible a 17-year-old would do to please her 20-year-old boyfriend. Naturally, I am a stubborn girl, but I guess you knew how to take hold of me.
It was literally “your wish is my command” personified. But it isn’t the relationship that bothered me the most, my future self would have taken it as naivety. It’s what you did after we were not together that bothered me the most, and yet I chose silence.
As soon as time passed, it took me a hard time to even accept that, at one point in my life, I dated a guy like you — totally unworthy. You knew you weren’t worth it, you were scared of me, but you were clever enough for a 17-year-old, living away from her family for the first time.
I should have recognized all the red flags but I was too busy pleasing you. I was scared of you too, of your anger, of the things that you said to demean me, and when you questioned my upbringing.
You literally had the audacity to ask for my Facebook and Instagram creds and I gave in. I should have done better. You were the typical patriarchal persona that haunted my life officially for seven months, and unofficially for years afterward.
Why did you have to do that?
This time, I am just venting my emotions. I don’t want any answers because I know your balderdash mentality that didn’t let me evolve. I have reached a point in my life where I no longer feel bad for myself but for you.
But after all the years, I still have a few questions that make me regret every time and question your sanity. You should have given thought to every action of yours —
Before spreading lies about me in your vicious circle and to every stranger who knew me. You don’t know how much it sucks to change individual mentalities, once they have made a preconception about you. But guess what? I am not a people pleaser anymore, so f*ck it.
Before showing our pictures to your seniors and juniors and my friends, every time you were (supposedly) drunk. I don’t know what’s the problem with a few people; they don’t know how to respect others’ privacy. I guess you were mature enough to handle your matters on your own, but you chose to defame the girl who left you, who left an abusive relationship.
Before texting my friends and new people (Who were about to become friends or more than that) and telling them my so-called reality. All you did was vomit your side of the story in bits and used abusive language.
Before drunk calling me from different numbers every once in a while, after all these years. Grow up! It’s the best redemption for you. I don’t want to be bothered by you, neither then nor now. And also, stop spamming my social media too.
I can’t figure out what’s up with you. I mean you have done the damage years ago, and now you want me to ‘stay normal’ with you, and stay friends with you. Let’s be clear-
I DON’T WANT YOUR EXISTENCE IN MY LIFE IN ANY FORM (I think I am clear now). I have made it clear a 1000 times before, so if you still don’t understand what that means, here is the Morse code for you-
.. / -.. — — -. .-..-. — / . — .- -. — / -. — — — ..- .-. / . -..- .. … — . -. -.-. . / .. -. / — -. — / .-.. .. ..-. . / .. -. / .- -. -. — / ..-. — — .-. —
Beyond good and evil
I’d be lying if I said being under your influence didn’t help me become the person I am now, and I am thankful for that. We become better people after experiencing the good and the bad things. And I hope you learned something too. I am happy it didn’t last any longer, and I am happy that I stopped being a people pleaser.
Now, please do me a favor, please learn to mind your own business.
Yours unapologetically,
The Ex you are still hung up on.
