When Kids Find Condom

Here’s a funny story (worth contemplating)

Many many years ago, when I and my cousins were kids, we were so fascinated by balloons of all sorts. Once a year, our whole joint family used to spend time together in our ancestral house. Those were the days of finding treasures and sharing laughs.

I, being the eldest, was the head of them all. Well, this is partially true, the real boss was my mother’s sister, just five years older than me. She lived with my grandmother at that time. I was more of a personal assistant to her, giving my useless ideas and executing her chaotic ideas.

Every day, we used to gather around and went to play stupid games in our new, uninhabited, and partially furnished house. It was used more often as a guest house. It had three rooms filled with dressing tables, couches, cupboards, mattresses, beds, and drawers. In essence, we had a lot to explore.

One evening, as we were playing, my Mausi (mother’s sister) shouted from inside. We stopped playing hide and seek and quickly went inside to see the treasure chest she just found. My mouth started watering and I thought of chocolates. I swear I could smell it. I wanted to go inside and bribe my Mausi to give me my PA bonus.

Everyone was standing in a circle. It was like a herd of cows, wanting to eat grass, but finding a mongoose instead. Within five minutes, my Mausi ripped off the packet of balloons she found in the drawers and asked to do the same to me (she was around 12 years old and didn’t know a thing about them, I suppose).

Like me, I did as my master insisted. To become a better example to my cousins, I had to inflate that chocolate-smelling balloon. The fun part was that the balloon didn’t seem to burst, no matter how much air I inflated into it. It was stupid of the elders to not buy such huge balloons for their kids’ birthday parties. They-

• Smelled much better than the conventional balloons.

• Didn’t burst out too loud.

• Were fluffier than the conventional balloons.

The truth is, I enjoyed inflating that innocent balloon that adults seem to call ‘condom.’ I was so psyched at that time that I went to show my aunts and mother the treasure I found in the abyss. Instead of patting my back, they all laughed so hard, and it took me several years to realize why.

Trust me, I haven’t tried inflating those balloons ever since.

Takeaway

Is the story funny? Or is it full of negligence? There are so many questions at once. For many years, I laughed at the innocence of the incident. It is one of those ‘good old days’ that make your childhood ‘different’ or ‘awesome.’

But if I think deep enough, this incident is one of the reasons why sex education is so important. And how, we were not given any formal or informal lesson on sex education by our own parents.

Looking back, I see this as one of the holes in the pancake of my life. No matter how good the batter is, those bubbles are going to form, in one way or the other. I can’t go back and change it. I can only cut the pancake and eat it.

IYKWIM.